I know every mom talks about motherhood being hard but that’s because it’s true.
Motherhood is hard as f*ck!
Sorry (not sorry) for the language but there’s just no other word to describe just how hard it actually is.
For some people, motherhood comes natural to them, it’s almost like they were born to be moms. For me, it’s the opposite. I didn’t even want kids until I was well into my 20’s and even then I was terrified of becoming a mom. The thought that I would not only bring a human being into this life but then be 100% responsible for them literally kept me up at night many times.
When I was pregnant with my first son I fell in love with him the first time I heard his heart beat and I knew everything would be okay. What I did not know was how damn hard being a mom is. I was clueless to this fact and no one really prepares you for it!
I mean, yes you hear the constant “You’ll never sleep again” and the famous one liners warning about how you’ll have your hands full with boys and need to be careful with little girls but no one really delves into the true hardships that accompany motherhood.
One of the hardest parts of this job, and yes I’m calling it a job, is how we go into this blindly and with open arms. Most of the time, I feel like I jumped off a cliff without a parachute or a landing plan. Do you know any other job in the world where you are hired without any experience and are still expected to know it all and perform at your best all day, every day, even when you’re sick? That’s motherhood my friends. And yet, we do it and pour our entire heart and souls into it day in and out because moms get shit done. That’s just what we do.
“You can be a mess and still be a good mom. You’re allowed to be both!”
I have two boys, 5 & 7 years old, and my days are spent breaking up more fights than a MMA referee, cleaning up pee off the bathroom floor, and begging them to eat the food I made so they don’t starve to death. It’s not what I envisioned when I pictured motherhood, that’s for sure, but it’s reality. I love my children more than anything in the world, it’s a cliche but it’s true, they are everything to me and more but that doesn’t mean I love every second of being a mom. There are days I dread getting out of bed and having to hear their loud, screechy, obnoxious little boy voices bright and oh so very early in the morning. There are times I literally want to run to my car and drive away because they won’t stop arguing or hitting each other. There have been days I’ve hid in my room or the bathroom with the door locked just to have 5 minutes of peace and quiet. I know this isn’t going to win me any mom of the year awards but I don’t care, because it’s real and I know other moms feel the same but are just too scared to admit it for fear of being judged.
I think that’s what makes motherhood so hard. Aside from how physically and mentally draining it is, there’s an added pressure to be the best mom on the block with all the “pinterest-worthy” recipes and perfect bikini bodies and it’s just making us all crazy. Not only do we need to always know everything and do it perfectly, but we are the ones that end up with our bodies all screwed up, and some of us, like myself end up with our heads all screwed up as well. Postpartum depression & anxiety is far too common and it’s just another added obstacle so many of us moms have to face, making daily life that much more difficult.
Now, I’m not trying to say dads have it super easy but they just don’t deal with the same hardships moms do. Think about it. If a dad goes back to work after having kids no one bats and eye but if a mom goes back to work and sends her infant child to daycare, well all hell breaks loose. We live in a society where moms get judged for EVERYTHING! If you work from home you’re told it’s not professional. If you work outside the home then you don’t want to be around your kids. If you’re a stay at home mom you must not do anything all day. We can’t win and that alone makes this job of raising future generations harder than it already is. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do as a mom, it’s not good enough and that thought eats at me and makes me crazy.
So this is how I really feel about being a mom.
It’s hard as f*ck and my kids make me want to pull my hair out almost every single day but it’s truly amazing how much I love my sons even in the bad moments. That’s really what motherhood is all about. I want my boys to know the truth, that this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my entire life and even when I hate it, it doesn’t make me love them any less.